I Am Java Mama

Give me a second to blow the dust off of this blog.

OK. That's better.

So, are you still here? Anyone still with me? I'm not abandoning this blog, I swear. I just haven't been able to write. I don't know why. I have a lot to say, I just haven't been able to say it. Sigh.

Let me get you all caught up with my life. Not too much has changed, really. I am still not smoking. I'm also off of the patch! So, no more icky nicotine in my system. I'm pretty crazy happy and proud of myself, really. I did it.

I've taken up running. Well, sort of. You know I have been talking about it for, like, EVER. I mostly just walk, because I'm kind of sucky with the whole running thing at this point. I should follow the couch to 5k thing I have been wanting to follow, but for right now I am just doing it for me. I don't want anything to follow or stick with, I want to go out with just myself and my music, and walk. Run when I can. Try to run more each time. But at the very least, walk.

I haven't been going to the gym as much, I blame the nice weather. Who wants to be stuck indoors in a stuffy, sweaty, boring old gym when you can be in the sun, walking or running under the endless blue sky? Not me. I am going to the gym tomorrow night, for kickboxing that I have missed the past few weeks. MIGHT stay for the yoga class afterward. We'll see how I feel. Don't want to overdo it, but I have been wanting to really get back into the yoga thing.

I've been reading some books about Zen Buddhism. I love the concept. Might have to read more.

I've been practicing playing my guitar... and got a NEW guitar! It's pink and sparkly and beautiful and I love it. Acoustic. I suck at playing, but I love it.

So, that's life in a nutshell. I guess. I really, really need to write more often.

Happy, Happy, Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mama's out there <3

Oh hey, look, my blog still works! Even after weeks of neglect. Go figure.

I've been very absent, in case you noticed. A lot going on. I really need to start blogging again, more regularly. I think I can, now. There have been so many cobwebs in my mind, does that make sense? I have been on twitter and facebook and flickr, but for some reason just had this mental block about blogging.

In a way I wish I could make this blog more, I don't know, private. I have been feeling a little paranoid lately. But I don't want to do that, it defeats the purpose in a way.

I have so much to blog about! I'm still not smoking, I have cheated on my diet, I haven't been going to the gym quite as often as I'd like, but kickboxing tonight so hopefully I will get out of that slump! My family and I went to New York City and it was AWESOME, I've cut all ties with my sister and my parents and I have been fighting about it, I've been getting panic attacks, I've been in and out of a crazy depressed sort of funk, seeing a shrink again, the list goes on and on.

I'm feeling a little sad even as I type this. Hoping the kickboxing will take care of that.

I've been trying to do more reading, I'm planning on another attempt at a vegetable garden this summer. So many things to blog about!!

I am back, for good, I promise. I can't wait to get caught up on my favorite blogs out there, too. I always find inspiration, things I can relate to, etc.

For now, I'm off to kickbox this damn depression right out of me!

I haven't updated in a while, I think I needed a break from blogging for a few days. Since, you know, I totally blew NaBloPoMo for March. Oh well!!

Just some random bits and pieces tonight. It's Day 13! It hasn't been easy, not smoking. There have been so many moments that I wanted to smoke, SOOOO bad. This second week that is wrapping up was harder than the first week. I still feel confident, and happy that I made it through the rough spots. All this stress in my life, wow. I have been trying to think of other ways I can deal with things like stress, anger, frustration, even boredom. What do non-smokers DO with themselves?? I'm so used to lighting up that cigarette, now I feel like... I have nothing, no coping mechanism at all. I've been so crabby on and off... but mostly ON. My poor hubby, he has taken a lot of crap and attitude from me. I'm happy he puts up with it, haha.

I feel like I have also slacked off a little bit on the whole healthy lifestyle, working out thing, too. But, I'm forgiving myself for that. I may have slacked off, but I have NOT abandoned it completely. I am still doing my best right now. I have noticed that on the days I work out, I feel a million times better. The days I do NOTHING are awful. The exercise keeps me going throughout the day, I mean the whole day is just... better. This is wonderful, because it makes for great motivation. So, no, I did not go to the gym as often as I wanted to this week. But yes, I went. And while I have been eating healthy A LOT, and I'm still not drinking pop, I have "cheated" a few times. Small bag of chips here, burger from Red Robin there, and even a few mallow cups.

But it's ok. Because over all, I am still doing so much better than I was a few months ago. Worlds better. AND I'M NOT SMOKING. That's the important thing. If I am going to waver a bit on anything, because yes I have taken on A LOT of changes at once, I don't want that thing to be the smoking. So, I am ok with this.

I have a lot of ideas and plans to help keep me on track, too. I downloaded some podcasts, things like Mediation, guided meditation, positive affirmations. It all sounds very corny, but It will help. I need to find alternative ways of dealing with stress, sadness, anger, etc.

Also, I am going to be doing my grocery shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joes. Experimenting with new, different healthy alternatives. Trying new things I can get hooked on that are healthy for me. And, I finally got a Wii Fit!! Yay! I am SO excited about this. We just got it tonight, and my whole family has been having a blast playing. SO MUCH FUN. On the days I just can't push myself to go to the gym, I will have this. It's something. I will get some sort of activity in every day.

As for all the drama with my sister, not too much has changed. She is still staying, well, wherever it is that she is staying. We aren't even sure. She is still mostly avoiding my parents, my family, her husband, and reality in general. I'm very concerned. She isn't even going to be at my parents house for our annual St. Patrick's Day feast this Sunday.

My parents have stated that they are no longer going to make her car payments, and since she has no job I have a feeling it won't be long until she is without a car. Things will get worse for her, but we are hoping this will bring her to a point where she has no other option but to seek help.

Well, I hope everyone out there in bloggy land has a great weekend, I'm sure as hell going to try!!

So, I suck at reading and commenting on blogs, at least lately. Also, I suck at project 365, as I have failed that miserably. Such a shame, I went so long into it, too! Bah.

But, I don't suck at NaBlogPoMo, I don't suck at quitting smoking, and I don't suck at sticking to my new healthy lifestyle (for the most part).

So, go me, I guess!

Today was SO much better than yesterday. WHEW.

Thanks you so much for all of your support!! I check my comments from my phone, and you have no idea how much they really do help. For real. I only feel bad that I have been busy and distracted, and haven't been able to catch up with all of YOUR lives, and leave all of YOU wonderful comments, as you've done for me.

I am sure that today ended up being better because I went to the gym. I did strength training and cardio, I worked hard, and my spirits were lifted. My mood was better, I had more energy, and the cravings were barely noticeable. This is how I know I am not making too many changes at once, I am making all the right changes at the right time. Eating healthy and exercising feel good. If I wasn't doing that, I am pretty sure most of my days would be like yesterday.

speaking of eating healthy, I stocked up on more veggies today. I love raw sugar snap peas, radishes, and some baby carrots. OH and some grain corn chips, the healthiest I could find, for when I really need a crunchy chip type snack. AND the most delicious, all natural, healthy, 10 cals per serving green salsa. SO. GOOD.

I know I will have bad days again. In fact, I'm pretty sure this Sunday will be one of them. I have to go to work early, on a day I would have had off, for a meeting and then to CLEAN. And my boss is bringing in DONUTS. Uggh. Haha. But, I survived yesterday. It didn't kill me, it ended, it passed, and I'm still here going strong. So I have that mindset to carry with me through however many bad days may come my way, as I rid my body of this evil, EVIL! Nicotine monster.

Oh, and one more thing. I have decided that when my 10 weeks on the patch is up, I am going to indulge in a HOT yoga class. You know, where they spike the temp up to like, 115? I'm not kidding. I've done it before, and it's hard, but it is WONDERFUL, and coupled with plenty of water what a great way to cleanse the remaining toxicn-ness (is that a word? It is now!) out of my system. Not only will it be goodbye icky cigarettes, it will be goodbye nicotine. For GOOD.

Today is SUCKING.

First of all, I am majorly PMSing. Crampy, bloated, feeling moody... very moody! I feel fat and my self esteem is taking a nose dive like you would not believe. Whch is NOT helping with the whole no smoking thing. No, I haven't smoked. And no, I am NOT GOING TO. But it just sucks so much worse today. I keep telling myself that I will feel this way regardless of whether or not I light up, because I do EVERY month, even when I WAS smoking. But God, I miss being able to step out on the front porch when I feel this shitty to light up that cigarette.

Secondly, I wanted to go to the gym today, and do an hour of cardio. It's in my goal section for today, on my work out schedule, and I didn't. I felt to crappy,and I was SO exhausted I felt like I hadn't slept in weeks. After my daughter got on the bus for school, I came home and took a nap. I wa out like a light. I don't feel too guilty about this, because I DID go to the gym yesterday and it's not like I have to work out every single day, but... still. I guess I needed that nap. But I feel like crap about it for some reason. And I noticed I have better days, a better mood, and less cravings when I go to the gym. I really don't think I could have done it, I wanted to, I SO wanted to, but I just couldn't.

Thirdly, it's BEAUTIFUL outside. this is suppose to be a GOOD thing. But you know what? Since I didn't go anywhere, I had no way of enjoying it! Because I couldn't go and sit on the porch and enjoy my smoke and nice weather! I couldn't go outside and just sit there and enjoy it WITHOUT SMOKING. It was way, way too much of a trigger. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!! I have been waiting for weather like this for so long, and I was cooped up in the damn house!! I feel like I am being gyped.

You have no idea how bad I wish I never, ever would have started smoking in the first place. Because this? Is awful. AWFUL.

Lastly, I have to work tonight. I don't feel good, I don't want to work, and work is going to be rough like it was the other night, as far as triggers go, again. And I feel less ready for them than I did the other night.

Another concern I have is, I went a few hours without a patch on today, and those hours were god awful. I did it because I wanted to let the nicotine from the previous patch get out of my system before I put a new one on, so I wouldn't get all sick and dizzy like I did a few days ago. Those hours were so bad, that now I am afraid of ever going without a patch. It's a ten week program, and I know I am only in my first week. But what if it's still that bad after 10 weeks??

My biggest fear is that this will never get easier. I have heard stories about people who crave cigarettes 10 years after they quit. My God, am I really going to have to deal with this the rest of my LIFE???

OK. I'm done with my pity party now. Sigh.

I'm the "Qwitter" of the week on Twitter! @ciggybuttz gave me this certificate. How cool is that?

Well, last night was my first night at work as a non-smoker. It went... ok. I mean, I didn't smoke or anything, but it was a little rough at times. I was working in the photo lab of a local camera shop, and I kept thinking about all the things that could go wrong, and drive me crazy. Like, when the printer jams. This is the most frustrating ever for me, I just hate it! Or that all the paper would run out and I'd have to keep changing it, which can be a huge pain in the butt. Or the most annoying, or most difficult customers would come in. Or we'd be super busy and it would be super stressful, or we would be super slow and I would be super bored.

I'm so use to smoking there, because I could go out back and take a short little smoke break whenever I wanted to. There was a whole different set of triggers there... like, at 6:00 pm I almost always went out and had one. If the paper would jam in the printer, I would go out and have on and THEN come in and deal with it. This is a super annoying situation, because when one of our monster photo printers jams it isn't like when the little office printer jams... it's a pain to fix, you have do a million things, and you feel rushed because you are trying to get customers orders done in a certain amount of time.

It jammed, of course.

Another trigger: The difficult customer. The one who gets mad at you when their pictures turn out crappy, even though it was the picture itself and not anything you did, and there isn't anything you can do to make it better. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked if we can make an out of focus picture look more in focus. No, we can't. Or the customer who messed something up when ordering, and then expects you to get their new prints out in 10 minutes instead of an hour because they already waited an hour for their original, messed up order.

I always go for a smoke after dealing with these, and a few other, difficult people.

Or when it gets super busy, and you finally have a dead moment so you run out back real quick and come back in feeling better and ready to handle anything lse that comes your way.

The list goes on and on.

The printer jammed. The paper ran out, and that is a huge and kind of heavy cartridge that needs to be changed in an uncomfortable squatting position on the floor in the dark. Good times!! I had one sort of annoying customer, we got busy for a bit... right after I called and ordered my sushi and needed to pick it up. So I was busy and stressed and hungry, and my sushi was sitting out on the counter at the Japanese restaurant probably going very bad, and I couldn't leave the store to get it, and I couldn't have a smoke so omg what was I going to DO with myself??

Then it got kind of slow, and I was bored and wanted to smoke because I was bored! Haha.

My co-worker that night is an ex-smoker, who was happy to hear that I quit. I think it really helped having him there, he was a very nice distraction. I think he kept coming in and helping me with the orders, and talking to me, to help me through it. Very supportive, so that was a plus.

By the end of the night, I was so proud... I did it! t was honestly the first time I had to deal with even a little bit of stress since quitting. And I did it, and I feel like since I made it through that then that means hey, I really CAN handle this!

Not only just at work, but the whole day for was filled with more frequent and more intense cravings. I got pretty crabby by the end of the day.

Today has been GREAT. I went to the gym and really, really had an amazing work out. I pushed myself harder than ever before, did strength training AND cardio, and I have felt SO much better today than yesterday. In fact, I haven't really had any major cravings at ALL. Which is awesome.

I can't believe it, but I have kept up with eating right, eating healthy, drinking a ton of water, and staying within my allotted calorie amount through all of this. I was worried about the munchies and weight gain with the whole quitting smoking thing. It's working out well, though.

So, here I am, well into Day 4!

Day 3! I'm on Day 3, smoke free! Woo-hoo, go me! It hasn't been the easiest thing in the world, but not the hardest, either. I did have a problem with the patch yesterday, when I put the new one on I got all sweaty, dizzy, and nauseated. It was NOT fun. I rode it out, it passed in about 15 to 20 minutes, and no problems today. So, that's good.

I got a work out journal! It has a ton of info, I'm learning about WHY the changes I am making are good for me instead of just HOW to make them, the right way to work out, mixing cardio with strength training and flexibility, and everything you ever wanted to know about nutrition. And I can track EVERYTHING. I do mean EVERYTHING. For cardio you can track time, duration, calories burned, how you felt, energy level, depending on what you are doing you can track speed and distance, etc. For strength you keep track of muscles used, weight, reps, sets etc. There are sections for group fitness classes, yadda yadda yadda. And you track everything you eat, servings, calories, protein, carbs, fiber, etc. Oh, and water, and... more. It's very, um, thorough. And it came with STICKERS for when you meet your daily goals. Haha. Love it. It fits in my purse and I'm taking it with me everywhere!

My daughter is following The Iditarod for school. I think this is awesome! Each student picked a musher, and they are tracking their mushers through the race. Hers is Zack Steer, and he WAS in 45th place and last night we checked and he is in 5th! (Uh-Oh, I just checked and now he is in 12th place. She isn't going to be too happy, haha.) She was pretty excited. I love hearing her spout off facts that I didn't know, like that they travel for 1200 miles, where theyleave and where they go, she knows all kinds of cool facts. I love it. I was thinking it wuld be cool to try to figure how to somehow contact her musher, and ask if he would write her a letter all about his experience in the race. Wouldn't THAT be awesome? She would FREAK. Not sure how to go about doing that, though. I will have to do some research on that one!

Yep, So, that's my life in a nutshell right now. Head over to The UnMom for more Random Tuesday fun!

I haven't had a smoke since 11:30 last night!

It isn't easy, but I'm wearing the patch and it could be worse.

The bad news? I had a major diet cheat. Movie Theater Popcorn. With BUTTER. And SNOCAPS. Yes, mixed in with the popcorn. Eeek.

I refuse to feel guilty about that, though. I have been doing really well and I am not going to let that stop me from continuing to do well. I am allowing myself to cheat once in a while. Once in a very LONG while. And today of all days, I deserved an indulgence.

We went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D today! It was SO amazing. I have always loved Alice in Wonderland, and I LOVE Tim Burton, so double win! Maya loved it too. I can't get over how much the 3D technology has improved since I was a kid!

After we went grocery shopping and I stockpiled healthy food. And lots of veggies for when I need to snack. Oooh and my new favorite: Kashi TLC whole grain roasted veggie crackers with laughing cow light/reduced fat cheese spread in Garlic and Herb. SO YUMMY and guilt free (in moderation, of course).

Really looking forward to tomorrow. I am going to keep myself busy during the day with cleaning and laundry, and in the evening I will be hanging out with a good friend of mine, who is NOT a smoker! Yay! We're getting Sushi and then going to the kickboxing class!

Well, here's to the rest of day one. I can do this! One day at a time!

On the shopping list for today? Nicotine patches, chewing gum, very strong mints, carrot sticks, a stress ball.

Yes, I am taking the plunge. Tonight before bed I will smoke my very last cigarette. Tomorrow, I will wake up in the morning and put on a patch.

some have told me I am making too many changes at once, and I will overload and fail. I don't think so. I need to do this NOW, while I am motivated and ready. It's been over 2 weeks since I have given up pop and most junk food. I have lost 4.5 lbs!! I have been going to the gym regularly, taking kickboxing classes, and it's wonderful. It isn't hard. I LOVE it. I don't miss pop at all, not even a little.

Quitting smoking WILL be hard. But I'm doing so well with everything else, this will keep me motivated. In a few weeks I will be able to BREATHE after kickboxing. My clothes will no longer stink! And the example I am setting for my daughter!

My husband isn't ready to quit yet. Yes, this will make it harder for me, I know. More difficult, but NOT impossible.

I am... nervous as hell, anxious, but excited and determined too.

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!

This makes me think of the kids show icarly, and their infamous RANDOOOOM DAAANCING thing. Have you seen that show? It can be annoying, but it can be funny, too. I love Spencer, though I guess I am a little old for him now. Haha. Well, it's been a while since I have participated in Random Tuesday, and I have a lot of random things to say. So now would be a good time!

My husband is in Boston. He goes there for work sometimes, and it kinda sucks. Luckily, he will be gone until tomorrow night. That's a plus. Too bad I had to get up at 4 freakin' o'clock in the morning to drive him to work to meet the car pool to the airport. Ah, the joys of being a one car family!

I was bad this morning. I had corned beef hash for breakfast. Probably one of the most unhealthy things on the planet, and some might say one of the most disgusting. I'm Irish, what can I say? It's soooo yummy. In my defense, I had a very, VERY small helping of it. And I had an incredible edible egg, too. No toast or juice, coffee and a nice tall glass of water. I feel like If I deprive myself too much I am just setting myself up for failure, ya know? I will behave the rest of the day.

I haven't touched my new guitar yet. It needs new strings. I'm pretty excited still, because I am going to not only be teaching myself, by my daughter as well. Maya has had her own little acoustic guitar for years now, and she wants to learn to play, too. We will learn together!

The local flight training school is having a free learn to fly day! No, you don't get to learn how to fly for free. It's kind of like an open house, and there will be seminars and crap like that. Plus, discounted discovery flights! It isn't until May 15th, but I AM SOOO THERE!

This weekend, I am going to quit smoking. For real. For good.

I have to work tonight, and I can't wait because I have some film I want to process, and because I am going to eat sushi at work. Sushi is uber yummy, and pretty healthy, too!

And that is all for this weeks edition of RAAANDOM TEUSDAAAAAAY!

I did it, I finally took that kickboxing class! It was AWESOME. I'm so happy I liked it, because I have been wanting to do this for so long. It was sooo much fun, and quite a workout! I kept up pretty well, surprisingly! I have never sweated so much in my entire life, though. What a workout! I am going to go every Monday night.

Notice anything different around here? I mean, other than the fact that my mom blog has little to do with motherhood or my kid, and is turning into more of a health blog?

That's right, I changed the design. Again. I'm fickle like that. I kinda like this one, It's a little more personal, but took quite a bit of tweaking. Which is cool, because that's fun to do.

So obviously, I decided to do NaBloPoMo for March. I mean, why not, right? We'll see how it goes!

Hey! guess what! I did it! I posted every day in February for NaBloPoMo!

Granted, most of my posts were pretty lame. I am a blogger, not a writer. A lot of people are both, and I envy those people.

I'm trying to decide if I should do NaBloPoMo for March? I might give it a try, even though I said I wasn't going to.

In other news, I feel kind of bad that I haven't made it back to the gym sine Friday evening. I am going tomorrow, for my very first Cardio Kickboxing class! I'm excited about this. I haven't been doing the strength training as much as I should, and I know it's important. I don't know what my problem is with that. I have this weird insecurity, I feel like such a fool when I am wandering through all the fancy muscle torture machines they have. It's silly, and I know this isn't true, but I can't help but feel like people will be looking at me, and know I don't know what the hell I am doing. Especially the trainer I had my first day there. Like I said, silly, I know. But I picture him watching my every move, and thinking to himself "That's not what I was teaching her! She shouldn't be doing that! I just knew she should have signed up for my services!"

Shaking his head in shame. Being laughed at behind my back by all the gym super stars. People staring at me because I am not "doing it right."

Why am I such a paranoid and insecure freak when it comes to this stuff??

Anyway, I'm not going to let my neurotic ways stop me. Kickboxing tomorrow night, and then during the day Tuesday I will go make a fool of myself with the fancy muscle torture devices. Haha.

So, If I were a writer, as opposed to just a blogger, this is where I would segway into some seamless "outro" to end my post eloquently. Instead, you get this. :)

I went to a CLASS today! A fitness class, at the gym. It was a spinning class, which is cycling. It was INSANE. I couldn't do most of the standing parts, I could barely keep up... in fact, I pretty much didn't keep up. It was 60 minutes of sweating and leg pain. It was also, quite literally, a pain in my butt. I don't think they could have made the seats on those bikes any more uncomfortable!!

It was fun though, they played really loud music and everyone was so nice. Plus, I had an old friend with me, so that helped.

Despite the fact that I really, really sucked at it, I'm still happy I went. Still feeling pretty proud of myself! I can't wait to try the kickboxing class! Another class where I will fall behind, look a fool, sweat butt off, and realize just how out of shape I am. Yes, I really am looking forward to it.

This stuff is hard, but worth it.

I'm noticing differences already. Small things. I'm sleeping better, much better. I all asleep earlier and stay asleep, and I can tell I'm sleeping well. My mood seems to be better. My headaches are almost completely gone, and I've recovered a lot from my first work out... I can now make it down the stairs without hobbling like an injured 105 year old lady.

I'm eating better, still haven't had any pop (or soda, depending on where you're from). Oh, and just to clarify... I am NOT giving up caffeine completely. Just the pop. I was drinking it all day, every day. I've replaced it with water! But, I'm still drinking my coffee. I will NOT give up my coffee!!! I'm pretty sure the horrible headaches were due to sugar withdrawal more than anything. That, and I have drastically cut back the caffeine, while not giving it up altogether. I am also making sure I get the coffee out of the way early in the day.

I've been less anxious, too.

i'm still planning on doing the couch to 5k program, but I am putting it on hold until the weather gets better. There really isn't anywhere for me to run safely right now. Too much snow, and ice, and slush. It just keeps snowing and snowing, and I am SO ready for summer.

I still can't believe how well I am doing with all of this. It isn't easy, but I'm still motivated and determined. It isn't even so much to lose weight, though that is a small part of it. I just want to be healthy. I want to have fun and be active, and feel good about myself.

Right now? I also want a hot bath. Filled with Epsom salts. Because Epsom salt is my new BFF.

I'm back from the gym, after taking the day off yesterday. No trainer today, and I think I was a little easier on myself than I should have been. In my defense, at least I went. Plus, I'm still really, really sore from Monday. Also, I didn't know what to do!!

I know for strength training, I need to work different parts of the body different days. I don't know most of the equipment, which parts to work together, how much weight or how many reps, how many pieces of equipment to do in one visit, etc. Sigh. I wish I could have afforded to sign up for the trainer for a while.

I tried doing some research, looking for free plans online, and couldn't seem to find what I was looking for. I need something that is going to tell me to do this machine, this machine, and that machine on this day with this much weight and this many reps, and how the hell to USE the machine! Haha. And then tell me when to increase reps or weight or whatever.

Strength training, from what I have learned, is important. Yes, you need cardio. I know how to do cardio. So many options. But I'm lost with the weights and what not. Even the one session I did have, left me with more questions than answers. I bet they do that on purpose, to get you to sign up and pay for more training!!

Today I did a little bit of the strength training. Some arm things and shoulder things, and some ab thing. Then I did 20 minutes on the treadmill. Walking. And that' it. But, it's something!!

I can still barely walk down the damn steps. It's ridiculous, really. One day for working out and for days I can't walk down steps without wincing in pain??

The good news is, my headache seems to be gone for now! Such a good sign. Still haven't had a drop of pop. Drinking lots of water!! And eating better, too. In fact, right now I am having a lean turkey sandwich, on whole wheat bread, with tomato and brown mustard, no cheese. And cucumber slices on the side. And water!!

Well, if anyone can point me the direction of some (free) info and really good beginner strength training work out plans, let me know!

And thanks for all the support!! I feel so much better even knowing I have taken this step!

My legs are killing me, my head is killing me. I haven't had a drop of Mt. Dew, or any other pop or soda or whatever you call it, for 2 days now. It's making my head very angry and my head is taking it out on me, in the form of very severe pain. And my legs, Ugggh, did I mention my legs? They hurt. Baaaaad. Very bad.

That is all.

In a good way! Guess what I did today!! I WENT TO THE GYM!!!

I've had this gym membership for months, months. And I hadn't gone at all. Until today! I had a free session with a personal trainer, too. And WOW. I wish I could afford to have a personal trainer all the time!!

It was brutal while I was doing it, but man, I feel soooooo much better now. I feel proud for actually going to the gym, as silly as that sounds. I went. Yay me! And I feel proud that I actually did what he wanted me to do. It was awful, and I would have given up, and not pushed myself at all, if he hadn't been there. And I feel good because, you know, exercise and endorphins and all that crap.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sore. I will be even more sore tomorrow, I'm sure. But I DID IT! Woohoo. I am more motivated than ever to stick with it now.

I really, really want to do kick boxing. I feel like, I'm probably not going to be able to do it right away. It's intense, it's hard, and I learned just how horribly out of shape I really am today. But I want to try, and keep going, and stick with it. The kick boxing classes there are included in my membership. The trainer I was with today said he can do some boxing with me, too. One on one, more at my pace at first. But I'd need to sign up for the trainer program.

I want to do that, but ugggh, money! It always comes down to money. I think it would be really good for me, to have a trainer. Even if it's just once a month. But it's expensive. I might be able to swing it, but coming up with the initial sign up fee will be tough. And not sure I could justify that to my hubby.

The trainers know stuff, though. They design programs, and track your progress, and make changes based on your needs, they keep you motivated and pumped up, etc etc etc. There are all these routines, and you have to build muscle in order to burn more calories, blah blah blah... it all seems sort of complicated. It would be nice to have a set plan, you know? Specifically designed for me. And it would be cool to learn how to box. :)

Well, we'll see!

I think I am going to skip NaBloPoMo in March. I will still post regularly, but sometimes I'm busy and tired, and I just don't have anything to say! Like tonight! It's already 11:00 PM and I still have to post this blog and take a photo.

I'm going to play some Guitar Hero with my husband now... I will probably take a pic of him playing the cheesy fake guitar. Haha.

A few little updates. I might have to put C25k on hold for a bit. Too much snow and slush, not a lot of clear roads. I don't know. We'll see. I'm still pretty excited about doing it, so don't take that to mean I am procrastinating, I'm not!

I'm thinking about buying Wii Fit. It's kind of expensive, but it seems like it would be fun, and another way to exercise. I've been wanting it for a while.

And, on May 15th our local flight training center at the county airport is hosting a Learn to Fly day!! It's basically an open house, with information, seminars, contests, and discounted discovery flights! you ave to get tickets, but they are free. They are available March 1st and I can't wait!

Well, hopefully I will be more in the mood to write tomorrow. I need to get caught up on all my favorite blogs, too! I haven't had a chance to visit them for a while. I need some relaxing, blog reading "me" time!

Yes, I totally titled today's blog post with a NKOTB song. SO? It's fitting. Remember my post yesterday? I think I had an o.k. first day. Not the best, but it's a start.

First of all, I have decided to take Christie's advice and try the Couch to 5k program. I've heard of this before, one of my co-workers did it. I'm pretty excited. I've been downloading music for my mp3 player, and I'm going to buy a spiffy new pair of running shoes this weekend. I might try the first few days without the running shoes, since there isn't a whole lot of running yet.

I've had a killer headache all day, and didn't start yet, but I'm going to. Either tomorrow or Thursday!

I am also going to start going to Yoga again. I haven't gone in a while, and I LOVE Yoga, but never did it consistently enough. Hopefully that will change!

I feel like I need to ween myself off of the Mountain Dew. If I quit it cold turkey, I will have massive headaches, trust me, I've tried it before. I had half a can today, but that was it! Which is amazing for me. I also had 2 cups of black coffee and... oh, yeah... a jelly donut. Well, baby steps, right?? Besides, it's Fat Tuesday, I was at my parents for breakfast and they were practically shoving it down my throat. Haha.

For lunch I had a Salad!! AND WATER! Excited about the water. I drank a whole bottle of water! I did have a chocolate covered pretzel after the salad... but only one!! I plan on drinking more water throughout the day, of course. Possible another sip or two of Mt. Dew.

I work tonight, so I will be getting my Starbucks Latte. But I am going to drink a bottle of water after, instead of the bottle of Mt. Dew I would normally drink.

For dinner, I plan on having sushi. It's super healthy, and I LOVE sushi.

I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get any exercise today, but I feel like I am making progress, and it's only day 1 after all!

As for the smoking thing, I'm not ready to tackle that just yet. But I feel like I will be ready very, very soon. I'm giving it more serious thought than I have in a long time. So that's a good sign.

I just really, really hope this headache goes away. It's a hormonal headache, probably a menstrual migraine, I get them every month and it suuuucks, because I can never find anything that works on these monsters.

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement!