I Am Java Mama

I haven't updated in a while, I think I needed a break from blogging for a few days. Since, you know, I totally blew NaBloPoMo for March. Oh well!!

Just some random bits and pieces tonight. It's Day 13! It hasn't been easy, not smoking. There have been so many moments that I wanted to smoke, SOOOO bad. This second week that is wrapping up was harder than the first week. I still feel confident, and happy that I made it through the rough spots. All this stress in my life, wow. I have been trying to think of other ways I can deal with things like stress, anger, frustration, even boredom. What do non-smokers DO with themselves?? I'm so used to lighting up that cigarette, now I feel like... I have nothing, no coping mechanism at all. I've been so crabby on and off... but mostly ON. My poor hubby, he has taken a lot of crap and attitude from me. I'm happy he puts up with it, haha.

I feel like I have also slacked off a little bit on the whole healthy lifestyle, working out thing, too. But, I'm forgiving myself for that. I may have slacked off, but I have NOT abandoned it completely. I am still doing my best right now. I have noticed that on the days I work out, I feel a million times better. The days I do NOTHING are awful. The exercise keeps me going throughout the day, I mean the whole day is just... better. This is wonderful, because it makes for great motivation. So, no, I did not go to the gym as often as I wanted to this week. But yes, I went. And while I have been eating healthy A LOT, and I'm still not drinking pop, I have "cheated" a few times. Small bag of chips here, burger from Red Robin there, and even a few mallow cups.

But it's ok. Because over all, I am still doing so much better than I was a few months ago. Worlds better. AND I'M NOT SMOKING. That's the important thing. If I am going to waver a bit on anything, because yes I have taken on A LOT of changes at once, I don't want that thing to be the smoking. So, I am ok with this.

I have a lot of ideas and plans to help keep me on track, too. I downloaded some podcasts, things like Mediation, guided meditation, positive affirmations. It all sounds very corny, but It will help. I need to find alternative ways of dealing with stress, sadness, anger, etc.

Also, I am going to be doing my grocery shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joes. Experimenting with new, different healthy alternatives. Trying new things I can get hooked on that are healthy for me. And, I finally got a Wii Fit!! Yay! I am SO excited about this. We just got it tonight, and my whole family has been having a blast playing. SO MUCH FUN. On the days I just can't push myself to go to the gym, I will have this. It's something. I will get some sort of activity in every day.

As for all the drama with my sister, not too much has changed. She is still staying, well, wherever it is that she is staying. We aren't even sure. She is still mostly avoiding my parents, my family, her husband, and reality in general. I'm very concerned. She isn't even going to be at my parents house for our annual St. Patrick's Day feast this Sunday.

My parents have stated that they are no longer going to make her car payments, and since she has no job I have a feeling it won't be long until she is without a car. Things will get worse for her, but we are hoping this will bring her to a point where she has no other option but to seek help.

Well, I hope everyone out there in bloggy land has a great weekend, I'm sure as hell going to try!!