I Am Java Mama

Hey! guess what! I did it! I posted every day in February for NaBloPoMo!

Granted, most of my posts were pretty lame. I am a blogger, not a writer. A lot of people are both, and I envy those people.

I'm trying to decide if I should do NaBloPoMo for March? I might give it a try, even though I said I wasn't going to.

In other news, I feel kind of bad that I haven't made it back to the gym sine Friday evening. I am going tomorrow, for my very first Cardio Kickboxing class! I'm excited about this. I haven't been doing the strength training as much as I should, and I know it's important. I don't know what my problem is with that. I have this weird insecurity, I feel like such a fool when I am wandering through all the fancy muscle torture machines they have. It's silly, and I know this isn't true, but I can't help but feel like people will be looking at me, and know I don't know what the hell I am doing. Especially the trainer I had my first day there. Like I said, silly, I know. But I picture him watching my every move, and thinking to himself "That's not what I was teaching her! She shouldn't be doing that! I just knew she should have signed up for my services!"

Shaking his head in shame. Being laughed at behind my back by all the gym super stars. People staring at me because I am not "doing it right."

Why am I such a paranoid and insecure freak when it comes to this stuff??

Anyway, I'm not going to let my neurotic ways stop me. Kickboxing tomorrow night, and then during the day Tuesday I will go make a fool of myself with the fancy muscle torture devices. Haha.

So, If I were a writer, as opposed to just a blogger, this is where I would segway into some seamless "outro" to end my post eloquently. Instead, you get this. :)

To see each photo individually, just click on the links below!

1. Day 49/365, 2. Day 50/365, 3. Day 51/365, 4. Day 52/365, 5. Day 53/365, 6. Day 54/365, 7. Day 55/365, 8. Day 56/365, 9. Day 57/365, 10. Day 58/365

In other news, I have a cool button now! So if you like to collect blog buttons and badges, feel free to check out mine on the sidebar and take it. Code provided!

And last but not least, if you like me please go vote for me at Top Mommy Blogs!! All you have to do is click on this link! Thanks! And why am I using to many exclamation points!!!!

I went to a CLASS today! A fitness class, at the gym. It was a spinning class, which is cycling. It was INSANE. I couldn't do most of the standing parts, I could barely keep up... in fact, I pretty much didn't keep up. It was 60 minutes of sweating and leg pain. It was also, quite literally, a pain in my butt. I don't think they could have made the seats on those bikes any more uncomfortable!!

It was fun though, they played really loud music and everyone was so nice. Plus, I had an old friend with me, so that helped.

Despite the fact that I really, really sucked at it, I'm still happy I went. Still feeling pretty proud of myself! I can't wait to try the kickboxing class! Another class where I will fall behind, look a fool, sweat butt off, and realize just how out of shape I am. Yes, I really am looking forward to it.

This stuff is hard, but worth it.

I'm noticing differences already. Small things. I'm sleeping better, much better. I all asleep earlier and stay asleep, and I can tell I'm sleeping well. My mood seems to be better. My headaches are almost completely gone, and I've recovered a lot from my first work out... I can now make it down the stairs without hobbling like an injured 105 year old lady.

I'm eating better, still haven't had any pop (or soda, depending on where you're from). Oh, and just to clarify... I am NOT giving up caffeine completely. Just the pop. I was drinking it all day, every day. I've replaced it with water! But, I'm still drinking my coffee. I will NOT give up my coffee!!! I'm pretty sure the horrible headaches were due to sugar withdrawal more than anything. That, and I have drastically cut back the caffeine, while not giving it up altogether. I am also making sure I get the coffee out of the way early in the day.

I've been less anxious, too.

i'm still planning on doing the couch to 5k program, but I am putting it on hold until the weather gets better. There really isn't anywhere for me to run safely right now. Too much snow, and ice, and slush. It just keeps snowing and snowing, and I am SO ready for summer.

I still can't believe how well I am doing with all of this. It isn't easy, but I'm still motivated and determined. It isn't even so much to lose weight, though that is a small part of it. I just want to be healthy. I want to have fun and be active, and feel good about myself.

Right now? I also want a hot bath. Filled with Epsom salts. Because Epsom salt is my new BFF.

I'm back from the gym, after taking the day off yesterday. No trainer today, and I think I was a little easier on myself than I should have been. In my defense, at least I went. Plus, I'm still really, really sore from Monday. Also, I didn't know what to do!!

I know for strength training, I need to work different parts of the body different days. I don't know most of the equipment, which parts to work together, how much weight or how many reps, how many pieces of equipment to do in one visit, etc. Sigh. I wish I could have afforded to sign up for the trainer for a while.

I tried doing some research, looking for free plans online, and couldn't seem to find what I was looking for. I need something that is going to tell me to do this machine, this machine, and that machine on this day with this much weight and this many reps, and how the hell to USE the machine! Haha. And then tell me when to increase reps or weight or whatever.

Strength training, from what I have learned, is important. Yes, you need cardio. I know how to do cardio. So many options. But I'm lost with the weights and what not. Even the one session I did have, left me with more questions than answers. I bet they do that on purpose, to get you to sign up and pay for more training!!

Today I did a little bit of the strength training. Some arm things and shoulder things, and some ab thing. Then I did 20 minutes on the treadmill. Walking. And that' it. But, it's something!!

I can still barely walk down the damn steps. It's ridiculous, really. One day for working out and for days I can't walk down steps without wincing in pain??

The good news is, my headache seems to be gone for now! Such a good sign. Still haven't had a drop of pop. Drinking lots of water!! And eating better, too. In fact, right now I am having a lean turkey sandwich, on whole wheat bread, with tomato and brown mustard, no cheese. And cucumber slices on the side. And water!!

Well, if anyone can point me the direction of some (free) info and really good beginner strength training work out plans, let me know!

And thanks for all the support!! I feel so much better even knowing I have taken this step!

My legs are killing me, my head is killing me. I haven't had a drop of Mt. Dew, or any other pop or soda or whatever you call it, for 2 days now. It's making my head very angry and my head is taking it out on me, in the form of very severe pain. And my legs, Ugggh, did I mention my legs? They hurt. Baaaaad. Very bad.

That is all.

In a good way! Guess what I did today!! I WENT TO THE GYM!!!

I've had this gym membership for months, months. And I hadn't gone at all. Until today! I had a free session with a personal trainer, too. And WOW. I wish I could afford to have a personal trainer all the time!!

It was brutal while I was doing it, but man, I feel soooooo much better now. I feel proud for actually going to the gym, as silly as that sounds. I went. Yay me! And I feel proud that I actually did what he wanted me to do. It was awful, and I would have given up, and not pushed myself at all, if he hadn't been there. And I feel good because, you know, exercise and endorphins and all that crap.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sore. I will be even more sore tomorrow, I'm sure. But I DID IT! Woohoo. I am more motivated than ever to stick with it now.

I really, really want to do kick boxing. I feel like, I'm probably not going to be able to do it right away. It's intense, it's hard, and I learned just how horribly out of shape I really am today. But I want to try, and keep going, and stick with it. The kick boxing classes there are included in my membership. The trainer I was with today said he can do some boxing with me, too. One on one, more at my pace at first. But I'd need to sign up for the trainer program.

I want to do that, but ugggh, money! It always comes down to money. I think it would be really good for me, to have a trainer. Even if it's just once a month. But it's expensive. I might be able to swing it, but coming up with the initial sign up fee will be tough. And not sure I could justify that to my hubby.

The trainers know stuff, though. They design programs, and track your progress, and make changes based on your needs, they keep you motivated and pumped up, etc etc etc. There are all these routines, and you have to build muscle in order to burn more calories, blah blah blah... it all seems sort of complicated. It would be nice to have a set plan, you know? Specifically designed for me. And it would be cool to learn how to box. :)

Well, we'll see!

I don't know what my problem is lately. I don't know if it's because I am busy, or tired, or what. But I just can't seem to get into writing anything. I have nothing for you. Nothing interesting, nothing witty. Nothing.

I haven't even had time yet to catch up on all your blogs and lives and writings. Sorry for the lack of comments from me! I will be making my rounds soon, I'm sure. I have to get caught up!

The past few days, it's been like a chore having to take a picture and write in here. And that sucks, because I love blogging and taking pictures. I know this is just a phase, a dry spell, whatever you want to call it. Don't lose interest in me!

:)

I think I am going to skip NaBloPoMo in March. I will still post regularly, but sometimes I'm busy and tired, and I just don't have anything to say! Like tonight! It's already 11:00 PM and I still have to post this blog and take a photo.

I'm going to play some Guitar Hero with my husband now... I will probably take a pic of him playing the cheesy fake guitar. Haha.

A few little updates. I might have to put C25k on hold for a bit. Too much snow and slush, not a lot of clear roads. I don't know. We'll see. I'm still pretty excited about doing it, so don't take that to mean I am procrastinating, I'm not!

I'm thinking about buying Wii Fit. It's kind of expensive, but it seems like it would be fun, and another way to exercise. I've been wanting it for a while.

And, on May 15th our local flight training center at the county airport is hosting a Learn to Fly day!! It's basically an open house, with information, seminars, contests, and discounted discovery flights! you ave to get tickets, but they are free. They are available March 1st and I can't wait!

Well, hopefully I will be more in the mood to write tomorrow. I need to get caught up on all my favorite blogs, too! I haven't had a chance to visit them for a while. I need some relaxing, blog reading "me" time!

Crazy people, like the guy who flew the plane into the IRS building in Austin today... How is it that someone IS that nuts? Is it some kind of physical defect they are born with, is it something they know all along even if other people might not see it? Is it caused by some kind of outside factor, like the perfect storm of environmental circumstances? Is it a dormant thing, that they don't even realize is there until it's too late and they can't control themselves? Or can anyone just... snap? Like, something could short circuit in any of our brains at any time and just like that, we're on the news and people are gasping and shocked and questioning...

Such a sad, sad thing. His poor family, his poor daughter. And a miracle it wasn't worse than it was.

To see each image individually, just click on these links:

1. Day 43/365, 2. Day 44/365, 3. Day 45/365, 4. Day 46/365, 5. Day 47/365, 6. Day 48/365

Or visit my Flickr Page or my ShutterCal!

Yes, I totally titled today's blog post with a NKOTB song. SO? It's fitting. Remember my post yesterday? I think I had an o.k. first day. Not the best, but it's a start.

First of all, I have decided to take Christie's advice and try the Couch to 5k program. I've heard of this before, one of my co-workers did it. I'm pretty excited. I've been downloading music for my mp3 player, and I'm going to buy a spiffy new pair of running shoes this weekend. I might try the first few days without the running shoes, since there isn't a whole lot of running yet.

I've had a killer headache all day, and didn't start yet, but I'm going to. Either tomorrow or Thursday!

I am also going to start going to Yoga again. I haven't gone in a while, and I LOVE Yoga, but never did it consistently enough. Hopefully that will change!

I feel like I need to ween myself off of the Mountain Dew. If I quit it cold turkey, I will have massive headaches, trust me, I've tried it before. I had half a can today, but that was it! Which is amazing for me. I also had 2 cups of black coffee and... oh, yeah... a jelly donut. Well, baby steps, right?? Besides, it's Fat Tuesday, I was at my parents for breakfast and they were practically shoving it down my throat. Haha.

For lunch I had a Salad!! AND WATER! Excited about the water. I drank a whole bottle of water! I did have a chocolate covered pretzel after the salad... but only one!! I plan on drinking more water throughout the day, of course. Possible another sip or two of Mt. Dew.

I work tonight, so I will be getting my Starbucks Latte. But I am going to drink a bottle of water after, instead of the bottle of Mt. Dew I would normally drink.

For dinner, I plan on having sushi. It's super healthy, and I LOVE sushi.

I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get any exercise today, but I feel like I am making progress, and it's only day 1 after all!

As for the smoking thing, I'm not ready to tackle that just yet. But I feel like I will be ready very, very soon. I'm giving it more serious thought than I have in a long time. So that's a good sign.

I just really, really hope this headache goes away. It's a hormonal headache, probably a menstrual migraine, I get them every month and it suuuucks, because I can never find anything that works on these monsters.

Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement!

No, not a recipe!

I feel like a teenager again. Because of my SKIN. Uggh.

It looks bad. Really bad. Acne, red blotches, scars, inflammation.

I've never had the best skin, but this is just ridiculous.

So I've been researching some home treatments. Oatmeal masks, steamed tea bags, lemon juice, honey. Tried the oatmeal and tea bags, and now I am typing this with dabs of honey all over my face.

I really just want to redness and grossness to go away!! It isn't helping my state of mind these days!!

There are a lot of things I need to get done, must find the motivation to do them. Maya's room looks like world war 3, for one thing. I usually either just clean it myself or help her clean it, but I think I am going to make her do it this time. We need to clean out her fish's bowl, too. She has a Beta fish named Thunder who seems to be quite invincible!

There's laundry to do, our room. The downstairs is fine, we did a lot of that over the weekend. The bedrooms disaster zones!

Maya is off school again today, and I think I need to leave the house. She has $20 burning a hole in her pocket, and she is just dying to buy a Super Mario Wii guide / cheat book. I feel like it's a silly thing for her to spend her money on but she has wanted it for a long time now, and the game store is right by the starbucks... I could really go for some starbucks!!

I still haven't given my Hubby his Valentine's Day card. I feel awkward and silly now, I don't know. I want to thank you guys for leaving such wonderful comments about V Day and all my whining and all the compliments! Cheered me up!

And to answer one of the questions, no, I don't think my Hubby reads my blog. He could, it's not a secret or anything. I just don't think he does.

For my photo of the day yesterday, I was going to take that just looked like nothing... all black, nothing there, just an empty space, and title it: "What I Got for Valentine's Day" hahahaha.... but I didn't. Couldn't bring myself to do it, as funny as that would have been!

Don't feel much like writing anything. I've been pretty depressed and tired today. Feeling like I'm being ridiculous, but can't help that I feel kind of hurt.

I know we can't really afford some big, fancy dinner date right now.

But cards aren't expensive.

Anyway, I'm depressed and feeling icky to begin with. I might as well just lay it all down, this is my blog after all. I feel ugly, fat, lazy, worthless, and I'm having a very bad day. It isn't because I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day, Let's be honest, I wasn't expecting anything anyway.

But I think it would have helped, a little. Ya know?

I have a card that I bought for him, in my purse. I don't want to give it to him, because I know from experience that it will just be awkward and make him feel bad. No sense in both of us feeling bad. So I will leave it there, and pretend like today is just any other day, because really, it is.

Don't mind me. Just a bad day. I'm sure I will be back to my usual, chipper self in no time.

... is Valentine's Day.

I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about this holiday, everyone seems to have an opinion. Some people think it's a consumer holiday, for the profit of the greeting card companies, florists, chocolate companies, etc. This might be true. I personally don't really care if Hallmark makes a few extra (million) bucks, and locally owned and operated florists could probably use the business. So no, I am not one of those people who protest the holiday for this (or any) reason.

I saw a post on FB recently about Valentine's Day being stupid because "Chocolate makes you fat, cards collect dust and eventually get thrown away, flowers die..." or something to that effect. Also valid points, I guess I just look at it differently.

Most single people hate Valentine's Day, because it serves as another reminder of their loneliness and heartache. Not ALL single people, I'm sure.

And then there are the people who LOVE Valentine's Day. I fit into this category... kind of.

I'm a romantic at heart, I love love, I love flowers and chocolate hearts and sappy cards and funny cards and stuffed bears holding stuffed hearts, I love cheesy love letters and surprise dates and romantic getaways and those really really huge cards they sell at Hallmark and Rite Aid. I don't care so much about really expensive jewelry, and it doesn't have to a dozen exotic roses or a date to a restaurant that costs $200.

I just like the idea of... being thought of. It's like this: I know my husband loves me. And I love him. We've been through a lot, as most couples have. A lot of ups and downs and good times and bad times and awful times and great times. But sometimes life can start feeling very routine, you know? And you're still in love, and you're not questioning that at all, but it's nice to get that card that says more than just what's printed on it. It says, I was thinking about you, you're important to me, I remembered to do this because if it's important to you it's important to me, I love you so much I wanted to see a smile on your face, you can never be reminded TOO much how much you are loved. It says, this relationship/marriage isn't just a comfortable rut, I still want you to feel special, I still want to impress you, I don't take you for granted.

A cheap card with a heart felt message can do this. A $2.00 single rose from grocery store can do this. A small bag of chocolate hearts can do this.

Not everyone feels like this. Some may think it's stupid, some may not care if they get anything or not, they may just shrug it all off as silly, and think that just because it isn't important to them it isn't important to anyone.

But people who do care, people who love this kind of thing, if married to a person who isn't into that kind of thing, can often be left feeling very disappointed. And you try to rationalize it, you tell yourself it isn't important, that it doesn't mean anything and that it's just a stupid holiday. You try to convince yourself that your feelings of disappointment are silly. It doesn't usually work. You feel forgotten, taken for granted, unimportant.

You hear from your friends about all the romantic things their significant others did for them, you read all their love filled ooey gooey facebook statuses about how romantic their day was, about how surprised they were and how in love they are and how happy they are and how lucky they are, you hear about roses and flowers and chocolates, you hear about jewelry and love letters, rose petals and love note scavenger hunts, candles and special dinners and you couldn't even get a stinkin' $3.00 card????

And you think back over all the February 14th's in your past. You remember a few times that you went out to dinner, after YOU brought it up and arranged baby sitting, an occasional time that HE brought it up, a few occasions where you were surprised... typically right after some major fight or falling out so he was in full impress you mode. But mostly you remember the times is passed like just another day, or the times the only reason you got anything was because you specifically asked.

So you begin to just expect nothing.

It gets to be the night before Valentine's Day, and you start getting sad because you're fairly certain that it is going to be just another day. Because it just isn't important, even though it is to you.

And you begin to hope like hell you are wrong.

It's 11:59!! I made it! I started typing this at 11:58. WHEW.

And this is the extent of my blog post for February 12th, 2010. Hey, I didn't blow NaBloPoMo. So GO ME!!

I haven't updated any of my 365 Project photos for a while, so here we go!

Day 33/365 ~ Charming!
My daughter's charm bracelet, because isn't is pretty?


Day 34/365 ~ Good Fortune
This? Is so true!


Day 35/365 ~ Color
Beautiful flowers,in a flower shop... because all I see outside are the colors white and gray.


Day 36/365 ~ Primanti Bros Sandwich!
For those of you who are not from Pittsburgh: Yes, french fries and coleslaw on a sandwich. SO. YUMMY.


Day 37/365 ~ Snow Day!
The first day of the now infamous Blizzard of 2010.



Day 38/365 ~ And, More Snow.


Day 39/365 ~ Frost Bite
The frost was soooo pretty on all of the tree tops!


Day 40/365 ~ The World
Maya and I put together this globe puzzle during one of our many snowed in days.

Day 41/365 ~ Kid at Play!
She made a carnival on the coffee table. I <3 her imagination!


Day 42/365 ~ Moxie Girl on the Tech Deck Skate ramp with Squishy Animals.
'Nuff Said.


Wow, that's a lot of photos! Maybe I better not wait so long to post them next time!

My snot topic was so popular yesterday that I decided use it in the title of this post. I am still sick, yuck. I think it may be getting better, but we'll see. Ok, well the rest of this post doesn't have much to do with snot. In fact, it's almost a repeat of random Tuesday, just a hodge podge of everything!

Maya doesn't have school tomorrow. Again. She has been off all week! I don't think she will be back until Tuesday, unless they use Monday for a make up day. Which means no Valentine's Day party, which sucks because I love buying stuff for Valentine's Day! I love helping her make Valentines, putting together treat bags, yadda yadda yadda. Maybe we will get lucky and they will reschedule the party? I hope so!

Maya is 9 and has recently been given her own E-Mail account, closely moderated of course. She has since been e-mailing everyone, her grandparents, her cousins, me
(when I am at work - it goes right to my phone) and her dad (when he is at work). It's pretty cute! she hijacks my laptop constantly! But it's still very cute.

Do you think she is too young for a Net Book? Haha. By the way, I DO think she is too young for a Net Book. And a cell phone. Although, as far as the cell phone thing goes, I suppose a case could be made for safety reasons... ah well. She isn't getting one, regardless!

And now, here's a hint about tomorrow's blog post: I will be ranting and and venting about something that really, really irritated me today!

P.S. Let me know what you think of the new layout. I can't decide if I like it or not!

Yes, that's right. I am writing this weeks edition of Random Tuesday in a Nyquil induced stupor. I took it like, over an hour ago. Yeah. I feel like I'm drunk and going to pass out on the keyboard at any second, so bear with me if this is completely, uh, incoherent. Good thing it's Random Tuesday, eh?


I have a cold. A very nasty, yucky, snotty, coughy (is that even a word? Well, it is now!) cold. At least now you know I don't just take Nyquil for the fun of it, anyway. Well, not often that is...

(Totally joking about that one)

(Or am I?)

(YES YES, I am!)

Things are still a snowy, slushy, cold and icky mess around here. It was kind of fun at first, and the picture taking was just awesome. But I'm so over it now. I need green grass and hot sunshine beating down on my face. I need short sleeves and flip flops. Swimming pools and Sun Screen. I am officially THROUGH with Winter. Hear that, Winter?? I AM DONE WITH YOU! GO AWAY! SCAT! GET OUT!

I freakin' LOVE banana chips. (This random thought brought to you by: The fact that I am, at this very minute, eating banana chips, and the fact that in my Nyquil induced stupor I actually think you might care).

I think that maybe I have given you all more than enough random thoughts for now. I'm going to bed, and here's hoping I don't wake up with snot all over my damn pillow. Again. (Ew).

Edited to Add: Oh, so I just noticed that the theme for this week's Random Tuesday is suppose to be Awesome. So, talking about snot is awesome, right? Right! Goodnight!

Check it out! I got my very first ever blog award! Yay!! Thank you to Christie over at The Introvert Mom for passing this a long to me!



Now I have to pass it along to 12 blogs, and picking just 12 is going to be tough, for sure! Here we go:

The rules for accepting this:
Put the logo on your blog or within your post (right click and save),
Pass the award onto 12 bloggers,
Link the nominees within your post,
Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

I'm awarding the following blogs:

The Mind of ~Ifer
Bats! Meow...
In The Mix
Mommy's journey
Our Little Slice of Army Life
Stay At Home Mayhem
Family of Shorts
The Thought Bubble
My Beautiful Life
La Vida Dulce
Purplume's Blog
Hoey!Critic

There are still a lot of other blogs that I have just been LOVING. The internet is such an inspiring place sometimes! Next time I get an award, hopefully there will be a next time! I am going to give it the ones I didn't get to.

Thanks again, Christie!