So, Tomorrow...
Saturday, February 13, 2010 by Mandy (ZenMonkeyMind)
... is Valentine's Day.
I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about this holiday, everyone seems to have an opinion. Some people think it's a consumer holiday, for the profit of the greeting card companies, florists, chocolate companies, etc. This might be true. I personally don't really care if Hallmark makes a few extra (million) bucks, and locally owned and operated florists could probably use the business. So no, I am not one of those people who protest the holiday for this (or any) reason.
I saw a post on FB recently about Valentine's Day being stupid because "Chocolate makes you fat, cards collect dust and eventually get thrown away, flowers die..." or something to that effect. Also valid points, I guess I just look at it differently.
Most single people hate Valentine's Day, because it serves as another reminder of their loneliness and heartache. Not ALL single people, I'm sure.
And then there are the people who LOVE Valentine's Day. I fit into this category... kind of.
I'm a romantic at heart, I love love, I love flowers and chocolate hearts and sappy cards and funny cards and stuffed bears holding stuffed hearts, I love cheesy love letters and surprise dates and romantic getaways and those really really huge cards they sell at Hallmark and Rite Aid. I don't care so much about really expensive jewelry, and it doesn't have to a dozen exotic roses or a date to a restaurant that costs $200.
I just like the idea of... being thought of. It's like this: I know my husband loves me. And I love him. We've been through a lot, as most couples have. A lot of ups and downs and good times and bad times and awful times and great times. But sometimes life can start feeling very routine, you know? And you're still in love, and you're not questioning that at all, but it's nice to get that card that says more than just what's printed on it. It says, I was thinking about you, you're important to me, I remembered to do this because if it's important to you it's important to me, I love you so much I wanted to see a smile on your face, you can never be reminded TOO much how much you are loved. It says, this relationship/marriage isn't just a comfortable rut, I still want you to feel special, I still want to impress you, I don't take you for granted.
A cheap card with a heart felt message can do this. A $2.00 single rose from grocery store can do this. A small bag of chocolate hearts can do this.
Not everyone feels like this. Some may think it's stupid, some may not care if they get anything or not, they may just shrug it all off as silly, and think that just because it isn't important to them it isn't important to anyone.
But people who do care, people who love this kind of thing, if married to a person who isn't into that kind of thing, can often be left feeling very disappointed. And you try to rationalize it, you tell yourself it isn't important, that it doesn't mean anything and that it's just a stupid holiday. You try to convince yourself that your feelings of disappointment are silly. It doesn't usually work. You feel forgotten, taken for granted, unimportant.
You hear from your friends about all the romantic things their significant others did for them, you read all their love filled ooey gooey facebook statuses about how romantic their day was, about how surprised they were and how in love they are and how happy they are and how lucky they are, you hear about roses and flowers and chocolates, you hear about jewelry and love letters, rose petals and love note scavenger hunts, candles and special dinners and you couldn't even get a stinkin' $3.00 card????
And you think back over all the February 14th's in your past. You remember a few times that you went out to dinner, after YOU brought it up and arranged baby sitting, an occasional time that HE brought it up, a few occasions where you were surprised... typically right after some major fight or falling out so he was in full impress you mode. But mostly you remember the times is passed like just another day, or the times the only reason you got anything was because you specifically asked.
So you begin to just expect nothing.
It gets to be the night before Valentine's Day, and you start getting sad because you're fairly certain that it is going to be just another day. Because it just isn't important, even though it is to you.
And you begin to hope like hell you are wrong.
I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about this holiday, everyone seems to have an opinion. Some people think it's a consumer holiday, for the profit of the greeting card companies, florists, chocolate companies, etc. This might be true. I personally don't really care if Hallmark makes a few extra (million) bucks, and locally owned and operated florists could probably use the business. So no, I am not one of those people who protest the holiday for this (or any) reason.
I saw a post on FB recently about Valentine's Day being stupid because "Chocolate makes you fat, cards collect dust and eventually get thrown away, flowers die..." or something to that effect. Also valid points, I guess I just look at it differently.
Most single people hate Valentine's Day, because it serves as another reminder of their loneliness and heartache. Not ALL single people, I'm sure.
And then there are the people who LOVE Valentine's Day. I fit into this category... kind of.
I'm a romantic at heart, I love love, I love flowers and chocolate hearts and sappy cards and funny cards and stuffed bears holding stuffed hearts, I love cheesy love letters and surprise dates and romantic getaways and those really really huge cards they sell at Hallmark and Rite Aid. I don't care so much about really expensive jewelry, and it doesn't have to a dozen exotic roses or a date to a restaurant that costs $200.
I just like the idea of... being thought of. It's like this: I know my husband loves me. And I love him. We've been through a lot, as most couples have. A lot of ups and downs and good times and bad times and awful times and great times. But sometimes life can start feeling very routine, you know? And you're still in love, and you're not questioning that at all, but it's nice to get that card that says more than just what's printed on it. It says, I was thinking about you, you're important to me, I remembered to do this because if it's important to you it's important to me, I love you so much I wanted to see a smile on your face, you can never be reminded TOO much how much you are loved. It says, this relationship/marriage isn't just a comfortable rut, I still want you to feel special, I still want to impress you, I don't take you for granted.
A cheap card with a heart felt message can do this. A $2.00 single rose from grocery store can do this. A small bag of chocolate hearts can do this.
Not everyone feels like this. Some may think it's stupid, some may not care if they get anything or not, they may just shrug it all off as silly, and think that just because it isn't important to them it isn't important to anyone.
But people who do care, people who love this kind of thing, if married to a person who isn't into that kind of thing, can often be left feeling very disappointed. And you try to rationalize it, you tell yourself it isn't important, that it doesn't mean anything and that it's just a stupid holiday. You try to convince yourself that your feelings of disappointment are silly. It doesn't usually work. You feel forgotten, taken for granted, unimportant.
You hear from your friends about all the romantic things their significant others did for them, you read all their love filled ooey gooey facebook statuses about how romantic their day was, about how surprised they were and how in love they are and how happy they are and how lucky they are, you hear about roses and flowers and chocolates, you hear about jewelry and love letters, rose petals and love note scavenger hunts, candles and special dinners and you couldn't even get a stinkin' $3.00 card????
And you think back over all the February 14th's in your past. You remember a few times that you went out to dinner, after YOU brought it up and arranged baby sitting, an occasional time that HE brought it up, a few occasions where you were surprised... typically right after some major fight or falling out so he was in full impress you mode. But mostly you remember the times is passed like just another day, or the times the only reason you got anything was because you specifically asked.
So you begin to just expect nothing.
It gets to be the night before Valentine's Day, and you start getting sad because you're fairly certain that it is going to be just another day. Because it just isn't important, even though it is to you.
And you begin to hope like hell you are wrong.
Posts
I really do hope you have a good valentine's Day. Because, yea, it IS nice to be thought of in that way. Even a bag of chocolate hearts makes the day a little more special.
<3
I hope you have a good Valentine's Day. Personally, I fall into the 'it's a commercial holiday' bunch. I don't celebrate it other than getting treats for the kids to pass out at school, so I prefer it to be just another day. But I honestly hope you get everything you're hoping for :)
I think it's fun and I'll admit I wasn't in any way disappointed that my husband sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I would have been thrilled if he'd just sent me a card though too. He could have made a video with his camera and emailed it to me. If he was in the country I would have been happy to cuddle on the couch and watch a sappy movie.
But, I also have a husband that would do any of those things on a random day of the year. When I got bronchitis in October, he sent me flowers to cheer me up. He didn't have to, I didn't ask for them, he just did it.
And then when we're chatting on Skype he'll just randomly be like, "Hey, did I tell you your pretty today?"
So Valentine's Day is fun and I love romantic surprises, but I'm lucky enough to get that every day, so whether or not we do anything "special" for Valentine's Day isn't the most important thing.
My valentine is like yours. He thinks all holidays and presents are commercial and a waste.
It took many years for me to get a grip on it. My husband has come through in some very important ways and I wouldn't trade him.
I buy myself something if I want it and there are times I think I need some acknowledgment or appreciation. I think maybe my husband is here for me to learn that I need to do that for myself.
However it works out for you, you are special and wonderful.