Sigh.
Sunday, February 14, 2010 by Mandy (ZenMonkeyMind)
Don't feel much like writing anything. I've been pretty depressed and tired today. Feeling like I'm being ridiculous, but can't help that I feel kind of hurt.
I know we can't really afford some big, fancy dinner date right now.
But cards aren't expensive.
Anyway, I'm depressed and feeling icky to begin with. I might as well just lay it all down, this is my blog after all. I feel ugly, fat, lazy, worthless, and I'm having a very bad day. It isn't because I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day, Let's be honest, I wasn't expecting anything anyway.
But I think it would have helped, a little. Ya know?
I have a card that I bought for him, in my purse. I don't want to give it to him, because I know from experience that it will just be awkward and make him feel bad. No sense in both of us feeling bad. So I will leave it there, and pretend like today is just any other day, because really, it is.
Don't mind me. Just a bad day. I'm sure I will be back to my usual, chipper self in no time.
I know we can't really afford some big, fancy dinner date right now.
But cards aren't expensive.
Anyway, I'm depressed and feeling icky to begin with. I might as well just lay it all down, this is my blog after all. I feel ugly, fat, lazy, worthless, and I'm having a very bad day. It isn't because I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day, Let's be honest, I wasn't expecting anything anyway.
But I think it would have helped, a little. Ya know?
I have a card that I bought for him, in my purse. I don't want to give it to him, because I know from experience that it will just be awkward and make him feel bad. No sense in both of us feeling bad. So I will leave it there, and pretend like today is just any other day, because really, it is.
Don't mind me. Just a bad day. I'm sure I will be back to my usual, chipper self in no time.
Posts
I am glad that you are honest, because yes its your blog and you can cry if you want to...
We all want to feel special. We all want to be thought of, to be wooed and to be appreciated. We want to be told we are smart and beautiful and deserve to have everything out heart desires. Realistically we know that the day to day needs of groceries, jobs, kids take up most of the time available so the special sentiments are on the bottom of the priority list.
So on one day in February there is a friendly reminder to tell you're loved one how much you adore them. When the friendly nudge gets a snooze button, your feelings are hurt.
For today, I tell you that over the last few weeks of reading your blog I find you very interesting. You are articulate, smart, compassionate, talented and I choose to spend some of my free time reading your thoughts. You are a wonderful and beautiful person. I know this because I can pick it up from just your few words. Happy Valentines Day. Celebrate you! Do something for you! And give him the card. Don't hold your love back. What does the song say... love like you can't get hurt. (sorry this was so long, I was caught up in the moment :)
I'm sorry you feel icky. (((hugs)))
I know it does hurt your feelings to feel like this Day of Days wasn't acknowledged, like you and all of your awesomeness have been overlooked. I haven't been reading your blog for all that long, but what I can tell so far is this:
1. you are an honest and real writer. you're putting all this out there in such a fearless way, it takes some real strength to do that.
2. You take some amazing pictures. I am not even kidding, looking at your pictures was part of what made me want to pick up a camera again.
3. You are gorgeous!
I've had many many unacknowledged birthdays and Christmases and Valentine's days and Mother's days....I know how it feels. Anyway, sending hugs and a virtual bag of chocolate hearts your way.
xo
<3
christie
You sound so bummed. And you're more mature than me. I would've given him the card. Does your husband read your site? Just curious.
Maybe do something for yourself that you wouldn't normally do? Sometimes that helps me break out of the funk.
There isn't anything I can say that the previous comments haven't already covered. I have really enjoyed reading your blog, and it makes me sad to think that you are hurting! Saturday was my anniversary and J forgot... I got a card for him and I still gave it to him, knowing I wasn't getting one in return. It probably made him feel a little worse then he already did for forgetting, which wasn't my intention, but like Kortney said - don't hold your love back. I hope that you find something to make you smile today!
I feel for you too. I have a few more posts of yours to read. I hope things improve for you. Sending well wishes blog love.
I thought it was very thoughtful of you not to give him the card. XD
hi mandy...sorry for the late reply to this idea (wish i'd been more supportive when you needed it but i was too self-absorbed and physically sick myself)...i was just thinking how there is a book i want to read on the different ways we express our love and i know it would be good for my husband and me...i, like you, just want a personal card...something expressing love...he, on the other hand just wants behavior such as cleaning out a junk drawer (or better yet, maintaining areas so they don't get cluttered) and we so often argue over this and don't give the other what we want but i think if we both understood how we have different needs and both ways express love, we might do these things more...just a thought...i'll keep you posted if i remember the book title and/or read it myself...